(Lesbian) Crushes Of A Straight Girl (Who'd Later Be A Bi Enby)
Once upon a time, I was a straight girl. Or maybe I was not really a straight girl because I was really a bisexual enby who didn't know better, but are we ever really something? That's deep philosophical shit I don't really concern myself with. Me? I make zines, and in this one I tell you about these times where, okay, maybe I was not the straightest girl in the whole world. Because I had crushes on girls (or people I thought were girls at the time). Some of them still live in my head rent free to this day so... here you have it. This is the hommage I'll probably never share with them (now, that'd be awkward). Enjoy, wherever you are in your self-discovery journey!
Zine made with the Electric Zine Maker by alienmelon, you can read it online thanks to the web player by Jeremy Oduber.
By downloading it, you can print it and fold it. If you want to print several copies to give your friends or something, I'd love you to leave me a message in the comments!
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thank you for sharing those stories. I am sure they can provide a well needed perspective to a lot of people.
This is terrific, and it's so awesome of you to share :D
On a personal note, I'm delighted I'm not the only person who refers to myself as like... who I was and who I am now. I'm Beth, a trans woman, but to me I'll always have been Charlie, a dude, for the vast majority of my life. It's not something I'm ashamed of by any means, it's a very important part of me 🧡 And I always felt bad about that (and always start off the same way you do: "it's different for everyone but most trans people don't see it this way, and I'm not saying either way is right or wrong, just be wary of that when you speak with others..."
- ✨Beth
Thanks for your comment! I've been a bit anxious about sharing this zine lol. I talk about my past self with my new name and pronouns, but I still think I was sincerely "living as a girl" during that time. I sometimes feel like that makes me "a fake trans person" (in the sense that I'm worried I will change my mind because I'm not "actually" trans), but... in the end, I think everyone has their own experience!
Awwwwww omg I totally get that too, re: "a fake trans person". Like... there's already so much to overcome with the shift, mentally, as it is. So many parts of my brain, for the longest time, would stealthily try to tell me I'm just "playing at it" or "faking it" etc. But I mean, I feel like it's like impostor syndrome in general: I sometimes think I'm terrible at everything and should just sit around and play video games all day cuz what's the point (especially when spiraling/dealing with depression) but that doesn't mean it's true. And I feel the same is true with being trans :D
And you're right: we're all our own people, and we all have our own experiences. And I wouldn't be who I am today if not for people sharing their experiences. Which makes it even more powerful to see things like this zine 🧡
- ✨Beth
Thanks for sharing parts of your life/memories with us in this pretty poetic way ✨
Thank you for reading <3